


All I Ask

by EvaVega15



Category: In the Heights - Miranda
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-13
Updated: 2018-09-17
Packaged: 2019-07-11 16:48:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15976409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvaVega15/pseuds/EvaVega15
Summary: au: - Vanessa Garcia finally is able to leave the barrio. when she finds herself in trouble months later, it's Usnavi they call upon to help one last time.





	1. Chapter 1

PROLOGUE

“…And one day, I’m hoppin’ that elevated train and I’m running away!”

She had to go, didn’t she?

He remembers the day, too well. A spring day, like any other. He had been getting the coffee ready for the day, telling Sonny to get off his ass and help him clean the store. Vandals hit the night before, so there was glass. Not too many items stolen, he could always report them - insurance, something he never thought he could have. He was sweeping the last of the glass, too, when the familiar ding! of the front door caught his attention. Sunlight blinding him momentarily, he recognized her tall, willowy figure, a shadow against the bright sunlight.

“Ah, Vanessa! Your usual cafe-?”

He stops, slowly straightening up. Vanessa, looking beautiful as always, her smile radiant, brighter than usual. Her long, silky hair hanging around hips, and deep, brown eyes that shined with such happiness, such excitement! He hasn't seen her this happy since they all found out Nina made it to Stanford. Biting his lip, he slowly sets the dust pan down, brushing off the dust. Normally he’d be jabbering non-stop, offering her coffee and talking to her about her day. That day, however, he’s rendered speechless. While Vanessa’s beauty normally renders him speechless, that day, it was because of what she held in her hand. One, holding a bottle of tall, cold champagne. The other, the keys to her new apartment.

“I owe you a bottle of cold champagne, don’t I?”

She explained, over styrofoam cups of cold champagne, that Daniela had offered to cosign the lease on her new apartment in the West Village. Considering Daniela’s constant berating and mocking of Vanessa’s dream, Usnavi found it unlikely Daniela suddenly decided to cosign, but he simply smiled and continued to drink champagne,

They say champagne is a happy drink. Usnavi couldn’t be more upset.

Sure, she finally achieved what she dreamed of, getting out of the Barrio. She finally made it out, as they always said. The way Nina did. The way Usnavi will one day. The American Dream realized, Vanessa Garcia is finally leaving and joining modern society! But as she continues to talk about her new apartment, Usnavi can feel his heart breaking harder and harder. God, was he happy for her. God, was he glad that she did it, that she finally made it out.

But, God. Usnavi De La Vega loves her.

He loves the way that even though she pretends to be a pessimist, she has a lot of dreams. He loved the way her eyes lit up every time she came by, playfully reminding Usnavi he owed her champagne. He loved the way her hips sway every time an old bolero played in the early morning, when she stood on the corner and swept. Dancing like nobody was ever watching. He loved how even though she is the most beautiful girl in the Barrio, she never understood why. He loved her silky smooth hair, her beautiful brown eyes, her hips, her hands, her voice and her heart. He loves Vanessa Garcia, and she wouldn’t ever know. 

As they finish their last cup, Vanessa tells him she’s due to move in the next few hours - without telling anybody else in the Barrio other than Daniela. Her suitcase was pressed against the nearest shelf. Usnavi had some trouble swallowing the last gulp of champagne, as she excitedly told him how she could still visit the Barrio, but it was obvious by the shine in her eyes, she had so much more in mind. She didn’t want to stay there. She wanted to explore the world and see what it had to offer her. Where she could dance on the streets with nobody watching, and smile like she hadn't left a trail of broken hearts. He didn’t know what to say, other than a stuttering congratulations. Sonny watched with interest, but he didn’t interfere this time. She finishes her final cup, wiping the last of the fizzy liquid off her lips.

“Well, I’ll be seeing you around, Usnavi, yeah?”

He stands there, dumb and frozen. What do you say to the girl you’ve been in love with for years, and never got the chance to tell her? What do you do when the girl who kissed your cheek in grade 6, the girl who listened to you cry when you were alone, the girl who danced and dreamed like nobody was ever watching, is leaving? He felt hot tears stinging behind his eyes, and he heard movement, recognizing the squeak of Sonny’s sneakers as he slowly left the store. Leaving him and Vanessa alone. He digs down deep inside, trying to imagine if this was him. If he had been lucky to leave the Barrio, to have the funds to finally go back home. What would she say to him? What would she possibly do to repay him for all the kindness? 

No. It was an easy decision.

“It won’t be long now.” He says with a soft smirk, offering his hand. He feels her long arms wrap themselves around his frame, her face pressing into the crook of his neck. He closes his eyes and tentatively hugs her, taking a deep breath. Cinnamon. Always like cinnamon. He tried to memorize the way her curves fit into his body, the way her lips curved when she smiled. And the way she looked, when she walked out of his store one last time. Hips swaying, head held high. Always with pride. Getting out of the Barrio the way she always wanted. Leaving them. Leaving him. 

He watches with a smile.


	2. Chapter 2

“And one day, I’m walkin’ to JFK, and I’m gonna fly!”

A week later, Abuela Claudia passed away.

He stood there, watching as the entire street mourned the woman, the one who held their stories. She never had children of her own, but the children of the Barrio cried as she was carried away. Kevin had managed to gather enough donations for a headstone - she’d be treated like royalty. He was the one to arrange the funeral, the entire procession of mourning immigrants, that bowed their head in respect to her. Usnavi took it upon himself to speak, the most level headed at the time, and in hindsight, the most appropriate to speak. It was all he could do to keep it together, as they sang the word she loved most - Alabanza. The entire street singing, as he whispered it to himself.

Where was Vanessa?

Surely, she’d be there, he had convinced himself. While Vanessa and Abuela never had a very close relationship, Vanessa had loved the woman all the same. Coming by with a glass Coca-Cola bottle for the woman, the two would sit on the stoop as Abuela would smile and tell her stories about the salon where she worked. Vanessa, smiling and laughing alongside her, always happy to see the old woman. Yet, there was no sign of her, as the mourners slowly dissipated. Leaving Usnavi standing alone in the road, still holding the bright candle for the woman who had treated him as her own.

Later on, as he looked at the money left behind, he’s unsure what to do. He had promised Abuela Claudia he’d split the money, give a third to Sonny. The kid lived with Usnavi, as his own mother had passed years ago, and his father, well, he never knew the son of a bitch. Sonny was truly alone in this world, and Usnavi couldn't just abandon him. He always joked that Sonny was a pain in the ass, but in reality, Usnavi felt like Sonny was his own brother. He had taken care of Sonny for years. Held him when he cried, wiped his tears when he lost his first tooth. He was like a brother to Usnavi - the pain in the ass Usnavi would miss when he left. He was truly torn, whether to stay for him, or go like Abuela wanted. Maybe in another life, Usnavi would have stayed, but he did what Abuela wanted - perhaps if Vanessa was still there, he could find a reason to go.

But when she left, he couldn't stay there anymore. His heart ached, missing her dancing form on the street at sunrise. He missed her laughter, her confidence. Her constant jokes and laughter, and her dreams. She held hope, and in a way, she represented a part of the Barrio none of them would soon forget - the hope to dream. To dare hope, the naiveté to dream. Everybody had a job, yes. But few dared to still have dreams. Yes, she attained her dream, to finally escape. Yet, she left, and soon that hope that she’d ever come back died. 

When he told Sonny his plan, that he was going to leave the Barrio like Abuela wanted, Sonny screamed at him. Screamed, begged, cried and shouted. That the Barrio would change when Usnavi left, that the bodega was a staple of their community. With nobody to run that small bodega, where the customers came with their money and their stories, who would keep their stories? Who would keep the legacies of the immigrants with penniless pockets, and stories grander than their souls? As much as Usnavi tried to reason with the teenager, he couldn’t change his mind, no matter how hard he tried. He couldn’t force Sonny to leave - so he left the keys, and the money for him, with Graffiti Pete. Pete swore he’d take care of him - and though Usnavi wouldn’t trust Pete alone in his own store, he knew Pete meant it this time.

He left the next day.

A year, two passed quickly for Usnavi. He left the Barrio with a battered suitcase in one hand, his cap on his head, and a hammering heart. He was unsure whether it was the right decision, to leave Sonny alone - surely, Abuela wouldn’t approve? But, he knew he had to let Sonny make his own choices, and he had enough money to get by. If Sonny wanted to take care of the bodega, that was up to him. Usnavi wasn’t going to let Abuela’s dreams die in vain - he had to make it there, to Playa Rincón. Where his parents home had been, before they fled to the States, to make their American Dream. Little did they know their son would come back to that little beach, to find his island. 

He opened his little bar on the seaside - naming it “El Rincón De La Vega.” The man he hired, Samuel, had questioned the name at first. Wondering why Usnavi chose that name in particular, such a strange name for a bar that would serve tourists and richer locals - Usnavi firmly declared his bar would not be for the elite. Just locals, and if the elite wanted to come by, that was their choice. He kept the prices low, and the demand was high, on that sandy beach. He became known as the “El Hombre Que Caminó En La Luz.” The man who walked in the light. He became famous not just for his famed drinks, serving old style café con leche, piraguas, and his special “Garcia”, a cinnamon cocktail.

No one ever knew he named it after her.

Every day he’d wake up a stone throw from his bar, living in a small cabin on the beach he built with Samuel. Smiling, he’d prep for the day, living on the bare necessities. Bread, milk, simple white rice he cooked. The money he brought over served him well, and with the money he made at his bar, he would always have enough to keep himself supplied. He would smile as he wiped down the awning that shaded his counters, bright red, white and blue. He would sing loudly, as he prepared for the day, running into town, talking to locals and getting ready for the day. Making his rounds with good food for those who couldn’t afford it. He refused to take a cent, and when the sun went down, he’d open up the bar. Letting in his cooks, his bartenders. Slapping each one on the back, conversing loudly and pulling out his old radio, to play forgotten boleros. Having it play while customers came and went, and he listened. Wiping down the counters, listening to each person who came in, as they tell their stories. He’d sip his coffee and smirk, giving them advice the best the could. In the back of the bar, he hung an old photo of Abuela he found - a large scale portrait of the woman that Graffiti Pete had sent from the States. Her name was clearly printed underneath, and each person would bow their head in respect to the woman who inspired Usnavi - how proud she would be!

Two years. Two years of peacefulness, before his world was disrupted by a letter. He had been closing up shop, as the late night stragglers slowly left. Usnavi bidding goodnight to each of his employees, thanking Samuel for the work he put in every single day, paying them more than he should. One of the employees, Maria, a woman with long tangled plaits, handed him a worn letter, said one of the late night stragglers brought it in. Normally, Usnavi would ignore it, most stragglers were drunk fellows who had sad stories, but seeing the clear printed name on the front, his heart hammered as he opened it up.

Dear, Usnavi

How’re you? I hope you’re well. I’ll skip the niceties. Nina and I are fine, the Barrio is doing well. However, this isn’t about the Barrio. It’s about Vanessa. 

She needs your help. I can’t say much in this letter, but it’d mean the world to us if you could come help. 

It’s also the two year anniversary of Abuela’s death. It’d mean the world if you could come by and say a few words - Sonny is taking this awfully hard.

Sincerely,  
Benny

He booked the ticket the next day.

……

 

He arrived three days later, having been held up at the airport, getting stuck in Texas, and getting a more than thorough “random” security check once he finally arrived at JFK. Holding only a battered suitcase once again, Usnavi departed from the airport, and headed back to where it all began.

He took a taxi, though, he remembers taxi fares being considerably less the last time he was here. He looked out the window in wonder - Manhattan had changed since he left. Brighter signs, logos and brands flashing on every single board. Perhaps, even more homeless people than he remembers - he kindly gives a five to a panhandler when the taxi stops right outside Washington Heights. He decided he had wanted to talk, and the taxi driver, unlike Benny, sneered at him and drove off in a hurry. Rolling his eyes, Usnavi took and deep breath, and began to walk the streets he never thought he’d see again.

The sun was up, shining brightly on the streets. Usnavi’s face lit up as he passed by familiar buildings - there! Daniela’s salon, still as busy as ever. Yet, strangely enough, he couldn’t hear Daniela harking about and gossiping with the other women - he shrugged it off, perhaps she had finally taken a break-

“Señor Usnavi?”

He looked up from his daze, to see the old piragüero, smiling and waving excitedly. His face lit up, as he rushed over, enveloping the older man in a tight embrace. He looked exactly the same, minus a few new grey hairs. The piragüero smiles, laughing as he looked at Usnavi.

“Hola! ¿Como has estado?”

“Mejor que nunca, Señor!¿Dónde has estado todo este tiempo?”

“República Dominicana, mi querido amigo.”

“¿Todo este tiempo? ¡Te has vuelto muy delgado, amigo!”

Just as Usnavi is about to make a bright comment about the man’s weight, he hears his name being called. Turning his head, he feels tears begin to form as he sees his old friends. Benny! Nina! Pete! And even Kevin and Camila, who take him into their arms as soon as they get their hands on them. He feels the suitcase clatter from his hands, shaking as he is enveloped in their arms. Welcoming him, saying how dearly they missed him. Camila pinching his cheek, and commenting on his thin form. Kevin, clapping him on the back, talking about Usnavi’s business - “He learned it all from me, Camila!” - and finally, Benny and Nina, who both hold him tightly. Benny, who smiles brightly, and Nina, looking worn and ragged, but so professional. She wears a neat pantsuit and blouse, contrasted with Benny’s plain shirt and shorts. Usnavi chuckles, as Nina clutches his hands.

“Welcome back, Usnavi.”

“I missed you all so much…” Usnavi’s voice breaks, looking around at the Rosarios, Pete and Benny. They beamed at him, all extremely excited to see him. Pete having given him a simple nod, but that was more than a welcome from Pete. Nina gives him a once over, chuckling. 

“You’ve lost weight, Usnavi! Have you been eating at all?”

“Only the bare necessities, but look at you! Nina Rosario…” He sighs, looking at her. The nineteen year old girl who lost her way was gone, and in her place stood a successful twenty one year old lawyer. “The one who made it out.”

“Hey, what about me? Damn, Usnavi, if I didn’t know better I’d say you only came back to kiss up to my wife!”

“Wife-?” Usnavi is shaken out of wonder when he hears Benny’s remark - he looks down at Nina’s hand, and then at Benny’s. Both of them having plain silver rings - his eyes widen and he looks between the pair, eyes wide with excitement. “Y-You? W-When..?’

“Right after you left.” Benny proclaimed proudly, wrapping a firm arm around her shoulders. “I realized when you left, that she could be next. I waited, of course, but we got married this past April.”

“April? Why didn’t you say anything you son of a bitch?” Usnavi laughs, clapping Benny on the back hard, laughing and smiling so hard, he thought his cheeks would fall off. 

“Private ceremony.” Camila chimed in, smiling tersely. She looked between the pair, then at her own husband. “We didn’t need the entire Barrio chiming in about how our girl would be a wife and a lawyer - you know how people are, Usnavi.”

“That I do, that I do.” Usnavi laughs, tears freely running down his cheeks - he had missed them so much, without even realizing it. He clasps Nina’s hand, then Benny’s, congratulating them, and apologizing for missing the ceremony. When he had done just that, he turns to Pete, awkwardly wiping some tears away. “A-And…what about Sonny?”

“Still runs the bodega,” Pete replies casually, looking round, “I help him out - kid’s got a real knack for business.”

“Is that so?”

“Yeah, he learned from the best.” Pete chuckled, and Usnavi smiles. Before he left, him and Pete were on quite awkward terms, never friends, but never enemies either. He had left Sonny alone, and Usnavi was grateful that Pete had taken care of him since. “Me.”

“You been in my bodega, Pete?”

“It’s not your bodega anymore, man. And besides, Sonny let’s me stay there all the time, anyway. Kid loves me ’n shit.” Pete offers a smirk, and Usnavi’s face immediately flushes. 

Usnavi has never had a problem with gay people. Hell, he never had problems with a lot of things the Barrio normally had problems with, and he never judged anybody that came into his bodega - if they had money to buy what they needed, Usnavi couldn’t care less about what gender or sexuality they had. But, this is Sonny. Last he heard, Sonny was just a kid, sixteen years old at that - god, he was eighteen now! He was still just a kid! Usnavi felt his heart rate begin to grow, and Pete, sensing the imminent danger, tried to do damage control.

“Nah, nah, man, I’m just jokin’! Ya see, Sonny, er, I…we, uh..it was just a joke, Usnavi! I wouldn’t ever take advantage of the kid like that-“

“You and Sonny?”

“Man, look, er…” Pete rubs the back of his neck, avoiding Usnavi’s eyes. “I…can we talk about this in private or some shit? I, uh…”

“Usnavi!” Nina’s voice joins the conversation, as she looks at Pete, shooting daggers into his eyes. “Pete, maybe go check on Sonny-“

“Nina-“

“Enough, Usnavi.” Nina nods to her husband, and Benny, being sensible enough to listen to his wife, takes Pete firmly by the upper arm and begins to steer him away from the angry man, who is trying to calm down, taking deep breaths. Nina stands in front of him, holding him by the shoulders. Even though Nina and Usnavi are close to the same age, Usnavi is still a good few inches taller than her, but it’s Nina who has control of the situation.

“Look, we didn’t tell you cause we know you’d react this way.”

“He’s just a kid, Nina!” Usnavi explodes, pulling away. “I don’t give a shit he's gay, but you can’t just let Pete take advantage-“

“He’s not taking advantage of him, Usnavi!” Nina exclaims, blocking his path. “I’ve seen them and they’re very good. I never told you because I knew you’d react like this!”

“The guy is trouble, Nina, plain and simple! If Pete touches him, I swear-“

“Sonny isn’t a kid anymore, Usnavi!”

“Yeah? He’s 18! He’s still a kid, and he’s my cousin!”

“Yeah? Where were you for the past two years?”

Silence.

“…fair.”

“I know what I’m doing, Usnavi, I’m a defence lawyer.” Nina replies, looking at him. The lines on her face are so much more prominent, due to stress. But she seems much more, well, herself. The last time he saw Nina, she was confused about what to do, who she was, and more importantly, her place in this world. Ever since he left, she’s seem to have found where she belongs. “Anyway, this isn’t about Sonny, this is about Vanessa.”

“Vanessa?”

“She’s in trouble, Usnavi. And she needs you.”


	3. Chapter 2

As her enters the dilapidated building, he looks back at Nina, standing there beside the taxi. He doesn’t understand why she told him to go alone, to this random brick apartment building on the West End. It’s nearly dark, the drive from Washington Heights to here having taken up a good portion of time. The sun is dipping low, the entire sky a brilliant orange, slowly fading into red the higher you look - it painfully reminds Usnavi that Abuela Claudia is up there in the sky, perhaps saying hello. Part of the night sky she missed so much in Nueva York - perhaps, she combs the stars through the sky, distributing their light across the heavens. He pauses in front of the double doors, grime coating the glass, preventing him from seeing further into the lobby, he hesitates, turning to look at his dear friend

“Are you sure I hafta go alone, Nina?”

“This is a talk you ought to have alone, Usnavi.”

“I trust you, Rosario.”

She smiles, before heading back inside the taxi. Going back the way they came, towards home. Washington Heights. Usnavi, gathering his courage, opens the double door, and peers inside the lobby.

It’s filthy, water stains from previous thunderstorms across the delicate looking staircase to the second door. Two doors across from each other, the glass in one of the windows shattered. Usnavi is careful not to step on it, as he slowly makes his way to the other door - locked. Sighing, he decides he must travel upstairs, and he takes his time, one step after the other. He pauses as he notes the way the evening is replacing the day, how fast the sun seemed to set. Smiling, he remembers the way the sun looked on the beach in Playa Rincon. The entire beach would be darkened, as the sun slowly ebbed into the ocean, the trees and the waves swaying gently in the breeze. If he closes his eyes, he could smell the salt air, the way the wind brushed against his face as evening announced her arrival in a beautiful overture of wind and sea.

Continuing his way, he passes two more apartment doors on the second floor before seeing a third, almost hidden away. It’s tucked in the corner, next to a wide window. The window has a large set of steps to meet the bottom of the window - the lower sash is pushed up all the way. The window looks out onto the rest of the street, the noises of the city at night beginning to arise in a cacophony of sound. It catches his attention - none of the other windows were open, so why is this one opened? Making his way through the small tucked in space, he observes that there’s a fire escape, brown and rickety, attached to the outside of the window. 

How in hell is anybody supposed to use this window to get out in a fire, Usnavi has no idea, but he feels his heart break just a little bit, as he sees a woman sitting on the edge of it. Her chin resting on the bar, her hands wrapped around the crossbar - looking out onto the city. He recognizes that hair, long brown hair that sways gently in the wind. He recognizes that t-shirt - it belongs to Nina Rosario, red with gold accents, loose threads here and there. And he recognizes that tune, the one that seems to echo through the silent building. A tune Abuela Claudia used to sing whenever she thought she was alone - Paciencia Y Fe. Only a few people in the Barrio had ever heard her sing, Usnavi, Nina…

“…Vanessa?”

The tune dies in her throat, as the woman freezes. She slowly stands up, and turns to face him - worn eyes, lines in her face that weren’t present before. Her frame skinnier, that hopeful woman that used to sing on the corner in the Barrio is gone, replaced by this shell. She gives a sad smile, as she looks at him, Usnavi feeling his heart breaking every passing second.

“Hi, Usnavi.”

….

Usnavi is still in shock as he sits on the couch, made more of foam than leather. He looks at the worn wallpaper, with a yellow smiley face spray painted onto the fleur-de-lys pattern. The room is freezing, night having hit the apartment hard. Vanessa, now fussing over a small pot, walks over to the man, holding a two mugs filled with a creamy brown, rich looking liquid. Cafe.

“Just the way you made it before, I think…” She says softly, avoiding his eyes. She slowly hands him the blue chipped mug, as she herself takes the stained yellow mug. “Lots of milk, I think. And you liked three sugars, not two.”

“Vanessa-“  
“I know, it probably isn’t as good as the one you brewed, but I hope you don’t mind-“

“Vanessa. What’re you doing here?”

She sighs, slowly raising her head to meet his eyes. Usnavi’s eyes are filled with concern, sadness, confusion, perhaps even the smallest bit of rage - Usnavi is known to be calmest man in the Barrio, always checking his anger. Always simply listening, never reacting. He had a heart of gold, dealing with every simpleton who came to his bodega and ranted - never offering his advice unless they asked. Usnavi De La Vega - he made good coffee, and listened. A constant in her life. 

“Well, that’s just it, isn’t it?”

“Where did you go?” Usnavi immediately asks, setting the cup down without even taking a sip. He straightens his white shirt, looking at her, turning at the wall for a moment, and closing his eyes. Patience and Faith. That’s what Abuela taught him, when he was about to get emotional. “Vanessa…A-Abuela passed a week after you left-“

“I know-“

“Why didn’t you come back?” Usnavi asks simply, looking up at her, his voice beginning to rise. “Why didn’t you come and visit like you said you would? We missed you, Vanessa! We-We all worried about you…wh-why are you here? Why aren’t you in a studio apartment like you said? Wh-What happened? Why are you-What the hell did you do, Vanessa?”

He asks these questions rapid fire, not even pausing to give her a moment to explain - Usnavi stands up, looking at the woman before him. “A-And what about Nina? Couldn’t have even told her? She’s your best friend, Vanessa! I found out after you left that you only told me! Only me! And Sonny…why did you leave so soon? Why are you here? What happened? Who the-“  
“Usnavi. I need you to calm down.”

“…Calm down? Calm down? You expect me to calm down after Nina basically hauled my ass to this building on the West End?”

“Usnavi-“

“Calm down after you just left without so much as a warning to everybody else here?”

“Usnavi!”

“You had everybody worried sick! I told them you all left!”

“You didn’t have to!”

“Why didn’t you tell anybody else, Vanessa? Why?” 

“Usnavi, I don’t know why you’re mad at me!”

“I-I…I wish I was mad.”

Usnavi pauses, looking down at the woman in front of him, sighing, as he slowly deflates. All this anger he held inside, this frustration from this beautiful, brilliant woman suddenly leaving, slowly ebbing away as looks down at her. She was angry he told everybody else. And he was angry because he never got to tell her how he felt.

I was just too late.

He sighs, taking off his hat and running his hand through his long hair, hanging around his shoulders - he had decided to keep his hair long, back in Playa Rincon. Tugging his hair tie from his wrist, he ties his hair back in a ponytail, before closing his eyes, counting to three. Uno, Dos, Tres. Paciencia Y Fe. He slowly takes the coffee mug off the table, and takes his first sip. Sweet, light and creamy, exactly how he always made it, with just the smallest hint of cinnamon. Cinnamon.

Breathe.

“Ma-May I explain myself, Usnavi? Please?”

He simply nods.

…

She explains, over slowly cooling coffee, that she had forged Daniela’s signature two years ago - she was so desperate to leave, so desperate to get out and prove herself. Daniela, who in a way had been a mother, she forged her signature. She knew she could, and one night, after her Mother berated her for hours, she couldn’t take it anymore. She took out the papers she owed the landlord, and forged Daniela’s signature, cosigning it as her. The land lord, who didn’t know Daniela, approved it, along with the security deposit. 

Usnavi listens, as he sips at the coffee. He listens intently, as he always has, to Vanessa. Never interrupting her, never questioning her - always respectful. If this had been under any other circumstance, it would have been just like before - Vanessa walking into the bodega, getting her coffee, and walking out without a thought to the boy who stood behind the counter, amazed by her. Loving her. She never understood, and still didn’t understand, that underneath all her respect for Usnavi, there is still admiration.

“So, you got caught?”

“Someone, I don’t know who, in the Barrio. I thought it’d be Daniela, but Daniela had already moved out of the Barrio as soon as she started getting calls from my landlord - so it wasn’t her. I’ve got my suspicions, but…that can’t help me. The landlord was sent my way, and I didn’t know what to do…I didn’t plan on doing it like this-“

“Then why did you, Vanessa?” He asks, looking at her sadly. Slowly setting the cup down, he leans forward, clasping his hands together. “We both know, you didn’t have to do it like this.”

“I-I don’t know! I-I just…I wanted to leave the Barrio so badly. Leave…leave her, and prove to her I wasn’t a worthless skank.”

That hurt, Usnavi feels a slight pang in his heart - she wanted to leave them, leave him, so badly. She still didn’t know, judging by the expression on her face, how Usnavi felt. Feels, he mentally corrects himself. Closing his eyes, he prays above to God to give him patience, give him faith. Paciencia y fe. 

“Vanessa, I-I don’t know how to help you. I don’t know why you asked for me, of all people! H-How’re you even living here, if you have the fuzz after you?  
“Nina…” Vanessa smiles, looking at the floor sadly, “She came right when I needed her. When I needed her most, she was right on time.”

“So, why do you need me?”

“…I was thinking, if you were still up to helping an old friend. I know it’s been two years since Abuela passed, and you’d come back…I-I was hoping you’d come back to visit.”

“I was going to…I-I have a picture of her, y’know.”

“Her?”

“Abuela Claudia, back in Playa Rincon.” It’s Usnavi’s turn to have a bitter smile on his face. He pulls out his phone, the small Nokia cellphone he carried to Dominican Republic with him, and pulls up the grainy photo. His bar, with Abuela Claudia’s face beaming, as locals drank and sang, dancing under her portrait. Vanessa eyes widen, tears forming at the corner of her eyes. 

“You really mattered to her, y’know.” Vanessa says softly, slowly handing the phone back to Usnavi, their fingers brushing against each other for a moment, “You-she always loved you the most, out of all of us.”  
“Vanessa-“

“It’s true!” She smiles, shaking her head at how oblivious Usnavi is. “Whenever I talked to her, she’d tell me stories about you as a child, how you would help her sweep the floors, babysit Sonny, whatever she needed, you’d be right there, by her side.”

“She loved all of us.”

“Yes, but we all had parents, or parent. You and Sonny…you were like her children. She got to raise you from the beginning.”

“Vanessa, I don’t mean to interrupt, but I still don’t understand how I can help you. You’re in a lotta shit, and I’m supposed to go home two days from now, right after the service-“

“I need you to take me with you.”

“…”

‘I know it’s a lot to ask, Usnavi.” She says, looking down at her worn hands, manicured once upon a time. Her face is wrought with worry, as she bites her lip, looking at the floorboards. “But…I-I just need to get out of here. Get out of the country. Take me with you, then you’ll never have to see me again. You’ll never see me again.”

"If I win the lottery, you’ll never see me again.”

Those words come rushing back to Usnavi, remembering the day all of them were on the streets, wondering about the 96,000 dollars. Wondering how each of their lives would change, each of them announcing what they’d do. Benny, he’d form his own business. Daniela and Carla, live in luxury. Sonny, that little shit, would change the world. And Vanessa…she had wanted to leave so badly, even then. She had promised she’d get out of the Barrio. Usnavi, he promised he’d leave too, go back home. Home. 

Usnavi De La Vega is an extremely patient man. He has put up with enough bullshit, enough jackasses that came and went in his lives, from the customers that would come, to the assholes in Playa Rincon that treated him like an outsider because he came from the United States. But this, to ask him to do this? It isn’t until he looks down at his hands that he realizes they’ve curled into fists - he stretches out his fingers, and slowly picks up the mug again. 

“Vanessa…th-that’s too much to ask of me.”

“I know-“

“I have a business now. I-I’ve got to go back, take care of the bar. I have to say goodbye to Abuela, and I-I got to make it up to Sonny. H-He’s back there, Vanessa. Running the bodega because I left. I’ve got so many people I need to see, so many problems I need to fix-a-a million things I haven’t done-“

“Usnavi, I’m not demanding this of you, I’m simply asking-“

“How can you say you’re not demanding this of me? After-After all you’ve done?”

“Usnavi-“

“You-You can’t just leave, then come back and ask people to jeopardize their entire lives-“

“Usnavi!”

“-knowing that I’d do anything-“

“I’m not putting your life in jeopardy!”

“-for you, Vanessa!”

Silence.

The two fall silent, as the pair had stood during their argument. She stares into his eyes, confused by his words. Usnavi, his shoulders heaving, voice growing increasingly louder during the fight. He closes his eyes, his heart aching too hard. He couldn’t do this again - she couldn’t just come into his life again, with those damn eyes, those fucking lips, be as beautiful as the sun, and ask him to do this for her. He couldn’t just fucking do it, and not be able to act on his feelings.

“Usnavi-“

“I was in love with you, Vanessa.” He deadpans, looking down at the ground. No blush runs to his cheeks, because this wasn’t a declaration of love. He doesn’t intend for this to be reciprocated. “I-I’m still in love with you, Vanessa. W-When you left…I-I didn’t know what to do. I left the Barrio…I was running to make it home, and home was where you were running away from.”

“…”

“And-And I know this won’t make a difference now, you needing my help, and it’s not your fault you don’t love me, because I know you don’t owe that to me. But you can’t just fucking ask me of this, and honestly tell me-“ his voice beginning to break, “you never noticed me at all?”

“All the free coffees, all the compliments, the flirting, can you honestly tell me, Vanessa, that you didn’t know?”

“I…I-I think I knew-“

“Then why didn’t you say anything?” He asks, eyes already filling with tears, looking at the woman in front of him, this woman that he had eluded him for hours on end, the woman he would do anything for, “Why-Why did it take me leaving the goddamn country, for you to realize I was in love with you!”

“I didn’t know that you were in love with me, Usnavi! I didn’t know you loved me this entire time! I-I just, I don’t know how I didn’t…I just…” She slowly looks down, wringing her hands together, “I didn’t know what to do.”

“About what?”

“About you loving me.”

“So you just ignored it. All that time.” His voice is chocked with tears, as he feels a tear slip down his cheeks. He wipes it away quickly, trying to conceal the sadness he felt. This frustration. He felt relief washing over him, like a tidal wave - she knew. But she never said anything?

How could she?

“I-I didn’t want to hurt you, Usnavi.”

“How could you hurt me more than you hurt me now, Vanessa? Asking me to endanger the future I have in Playa Rincon, what Abuela wanted. What I’ve dreamed of for years. How could you?”

“…”

“I’ll help you, Vanessa.” He says softly after a moment, looking down at the mug on the table. Cafe. Just like he always made for her. She always liked it sweet, but how could he have known that beneath all the sweetness, was a woman made of bitterness, boleros and broken hearts? How could he have known that she knew this entire time? “Because that’s what Abuela would have wanted…but I don’t want to be in the Barrio alone tomorrow during the service.”

“I understand.”

“I just want one more day. One more day in the Barrio, with you, Nina, Benny. The way it was supposed to be, before you left. I-I…you don’t have to come if you don’t want to, but…I figured, after all of that, after all you’ve done. You owe that much, to Abuela. To Nina. And to me. That’s all I ask of you, Vanessa. One more day.”


End file.
